A Collossal Waste of Time
A Collossal Waste of Time · 2026 · Collaborative Arts Project · Digital
A Collossal Waste of Time is a collaborative digital art and writing project centred around the fictional character of Mr Emmett Bezzle, a business-minded but absurd corporate professional.
The world of business and employment in the current market is a profoundly strange one. Reaching the highest levels of youth unemployment in the past ten years, stories of young professionals possessing impressive qualifications and experience remaining unemployed despite sometimes submitting hundreds of applications. Similarly, those already in the workforce must grapple with how their future unfolds when ‘living’ and ‘enjoying life’ are pushed to the margins of their time. This project explores the lived experience in which corporate passive language, endless meaningless emails, and automated rejections render all efforts seem, in retrospect, a waste of time.
Within A Collossal Waste of Time, individuals are invited to waste their time by writing under the name Emmett Bezzle, or Em Bezzle for short, a deeply serious caricature of the corporate professional. However, Emmett’s writing is also distinctly peculiar; although it begins seemingly normally, it ultimately descends into absurd tangents. Unsuspecting audiences are lured in by his jargon, only to be bewildered by nonsynchronous digressions that ultimately serve as parables for Emmett to analyse career-focused skills or concepts: Wasting the time of all involved.
This project acts as a form of protest against the pressure to be productive with our time, making a mockery out of everyone to participate and even come into contact with it.
All interested agents are invited to write as Bezzle, and welcome to submit their activities or writing to Emmettbezzle@gmail.com. All submissions are reviewed with discretion and Anonymised unless otherwise requested.
Below are some submissions. - all statements are written by myself.
Emmett Bezzle does LinkedIn
Harry Mayston
Statement:
In January 2026 I was scrolling through LinkedIn hopelessly pressing the connect button and adding a few more adjectives to my Bio, when I stumbled across a post that caught my eye. It was from a Man who’s title deemed himself a ‘Financial Analyst’. The post consisted of an image of a smiling couple surrounded by confetti, white flowers, and celebrating faces beaming on a sunny day. The caption stated that this was the original poster’s daughter on her wedding day from the week prior, which he made a point of taking the day off from his busy schedule.
However, instead of the jubilant congratulations one could expect from the wedding of your daughter, the caption was instead an analysis of what he had learnt about project coordination from helping arrange his daughters wedding.
I was utterly bewildered by this; that someone could twist what should be a day of celebration, into an exercise of corporate performance.
The piece to the left presents Emmett Bezzle’s LinkedIn account (now banned), testing just how far you can go to transform life events into a commercial competition.
Emmett Bezzle Applies for a Job
Anonymous
Statement:
A Collosal Waste of Time isn’t just about wasting our own time, but sometimes about wasting some else’s.
on average a job application can take between 30 minutes to 2 hours to complete, depending on the complexity of the process or if portfolios/cover letters are required. Despite this, recruiters have been reported to only spend as little as 6 seconds reviewing applications, and sometimes not at all if applicant tracking systems or AI are involved.
This cover letter was submitted as part of an application, beginning formally before descending into wonderous tangent.
Utilising keywords and feigning sense, the cover letter is designed to bypass scanning filters, aiming to reach a human person, extending the time wasted for all involved.